hhaha matt is sitting next to me and reading what i am typing. he started saying to me when i started typing "today.." and i said hey fuck off matt. he just laughed and asked me why i said that. its fuckking 2:30 in the morning.
- matt says this is anti climatic. i told him that its not supposed to be climatic because all this journal is, is a way to write to my future self who will forget a lot of these things if they are not written down.
old friends bring back old memories. the two pictures i have of megan are great for remembering stories. The picture was of megan standing in the tree i showed here in liberty park. she was tripping when we left the dungeon. she asked me to climb a tree with her at liberty park. i remember her talking about mango island and how she wanted to live separated from society, then she would do her tribal like call. i climbed up a slanting tree and looked down at her. she looked up "syd that's to tall!" i climbed down. she wanted an easy tree to climb. Omar liked to talk about the trees in liberty park, he would say that everyone had their own tree in liberty. the trees were so diverse that they all had characters and personalities. i took megan to the most unique of trees in the park to climb, strange without any difficulty to climb . it had a low trunk the size of a leg and two twisting branches with a few little branches. she climbed up and held onto the branch looking over the park. she told me that she felt really high up as she looked down. that is the picture i have of her. she got that exact tree tattooed onto her whole back.
Snaggs is one of my really good friends. i remember doing many intense adventures with him.
i remember drinking burning hot sauce half bottles with him. for the second time in my life i wanted to experience the most painful buring again. i got some jokingly hot drip concentrate hotsauce. a pinky full could burn your thought. snaggs and i got a shot glass and filled it full. we crossed arms and took the shots together. he immediately ran to the bathroom. i laid down on the ground and smiled. my friends surrounded me looking at me, i smiled back looking into the fluorescent light bulb. i remember deri asking me if i was alright, and all i did was smiled without words. after a time snaggs was calling me to get his some pepto bismal. i went into the bathroom where he was in the tub moaning in pain. i gave him the pepto bismal and he thanked me and asked me to close the door. he later told me that he hated me so much for doing this, but loved me at the same time for having this experience. i think that i went downstairs and did the same routine of throughing up and having burning diahreha.
the first time i ever drank so much hot sauce i did so in my jr high. i remember a fucking stupid kid tapping it as i drank it like it wasn't already painful enough he had to make it spill. but i got alot of the bottle down and said "its not even hot" i then walked away as i started to cry from my eyes nose and mouth. my head slouched as i walked. i dont remember how so many people got around me but they were all staring at me. i thought it would be funny to swing at them as though i was a zombie that was spewing from the mouth. i slammed spinning into a locker and laid on the ground. a teacher came to look at me, i smiled and said i was ok. i got up and went into the bathroom stall and threw my guts out until i felt better. i then went to class as usual with a stomach ache. after school i went to john's house and hung out. i was laying there as he played a game of starcraft i asked him as my stomach got worse " do you have any pepto bismal?" he said yeah ill get it hold on. then i asked again later about ten or five minutes my stomach got worse. i went to the bathroom sat on the toilet and had burning diahrehha as i gripped my chest in heaving vomits of buring puke that went through my nose. my body squeezing both ends to purge my body of the hot sauce. i got over heated and layed on the cold dirty bathroom ground. it felt so good to lay on the ground. i was overheating. i couldn't think about anything else besides the white burning pain that was inescapable. i got into the tub, i didn't know how to turn on the water. "john!... John.. john.." john came into the bathroom "what the fuck?" i said to him "john turn on the cold water don't ask questions." he got me the pepto bismal and left. i sat there in the cold water as the demon tore through my insides. after more vomitting and diahreah i felt great.
little kid punched in the stomach.
some more things to write about.
, climbing mountains, repelling down a four story building, piercing behind his collar bones,mountain climb, river climb, pushing a dead car back from kearns, walking through a cement created fantasy, and a few of my first music shows and the most violent.